Thursday, December 4, 2008

Reminder: T Boone Pickens is a Colossal Asshat

If you don't know who I'm talking about it's about time you started reading a little more news and watching a little less TMZ. T Boone Pickens is an old school Texas oil billionaire turned born again alternative energy guru. He's out to save us from our dependence on foreign oil by making a few billion more dollars from all the land he owns in the wind belt and over natural gas deposits. It's called the Pickens Plan and it's got a lot of ordinarily intelligent people swooning over him. Hell during his interview on The Daily Show Jon Stewart was all but cupping his balls.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not criticizing his energy plan. In fact, despite his self serving motivations, I think the plan is good for America. It just irritates me that we as a nation have such a short attention span that we're treating him like a god. We've forgotten that he's a colossal fucking asshat. I could write an entire book on what an insane, greedy, sociopathic, evil nutjob this guy is, (and someday I just might.) This is just a blog however so I'll focus on the thing about him that disturbs me the most.

T Boone Pickens cares more about horses than paralyzed veterans.

Are you familiar with the Swift Boat Challenge? You see during the 2004 presidential election Mr. Pickens gave the organization Swift Vets and POWs for Truth, formerly the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, $3 million. They used this money to launch a smear campaign against John Kerry that was, to put it mildly, a load of horseshit. You might be saying, "so he donated some money, you can't hold him responsible for how they spent it!" Well yes, I can. You see Mr. Pickens responded to criticism of the smear campaign by offering $1 million to anyone who could disprove even a single charge made by the Swift Vets during the 2004 campaign.

John Kerry bit, asking that the $1 million be donated to the Paralyzed Veterans of America. In response, Pickens issued a letter narrowing the original challenge to the T.V. ads released by the organization exclusively, and requiring Kerry to provide his Vietnam journal and all of his military records. Keep in mind the challenge was issued to anyone and that these requirements were altered only because it was Kerry and his people who accepted the challenge.

on June 22, 2008, a group of Vietnam veterans who previously served with and now work with Kerry accepted the challenge and sent a 12-page letter — with a 42-page attachment of military records to support their case — with which they claimed to rebut several of the accusations of the Swift boat group.
Pickens could have come clean and donated $1 million to help paralyzed veterans. Instead he tried to save face and responded "In reviewing your material, none of the information you provide speaks specifically to the issues contained in the ads and as a result, does not qualify for the $1 million."

So you know... asshat.

But the guy's not all bad. Despite his hatred of truth and paralyzed veterans he did manage to lobby for the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act (HR 503) to prohibit the slaughter of live horses intended for human consumption.

In the United States.

Because, you know, the slaughter and consumption of horses is pretty widespread here in...

Ugh. I can't even finish that sentence. Do you know anyone who has ever eaten a horse in this country? Have you ever seen it on the news? Is there some horse slaughtering/eating subculture I'm not aware of? Hell no there isn't! It's his idea of philanthropy. It's his legacy. That and a bunch of impoverished paralyzed veterans.

Seriously, fuck that guy. We can make the move to natural gas and wind energy without his crazy ass.

Oh, wait. I forgot he owns most of wind alley. :(

Wish I were dead? Want to have my babies? Email Barstool Pundit

1 comment:

DLC said...

He was on Up To Date this summer and I'm pretty sure Steve Kraske was literally humping him in the studio.