Friday, November 21, 2008

An Open Letter To Wikipedia

Hey! Asshats!

Just who the fuck do you think you are asking for $6 million in charitable donations? I don't know if you've seen the news lately but we're broke! Things are tough all over and charitable donations are going to be pretty light this year. Unemployment and homelessness are everywhere. Why should any of that money go to you at a time like this?



Maybe we should give it to Harvesters to help them meet record food demands.

"The number of people requesting emergency food assistance is increasing at a rate we have never seen before. Historically, we distribute 6% more every year—until this year. Since the beginning of 2008, we have seen a 30% increase in the number of pounds of food we have distributed. Based on a survey of our network pantries and kitchens, the demand for emergency food assistance is currently up 50% and is continuing to rise.

Harvesters is distributing more food than it ever has before. We distributed 600,000 lbs more in July-Sept of this year to our network of food pantries, kitchens and shelters than we did during the same time last year. However, the increased demand is so significant, our food supply cannot keep up with the need.
"


How did you get to be a charity in the first place? Was there a space on the questionnaire to point out that we write all of your content for you for free? By the way can we get a tax receipt for that service?

What are you really contributing to society? Half assed college essays? You should change your slogan from "Making life easier" to "Making you dumberer." Some things are too easy already!

Today's college student wakes up at noon with a beer pong hangover and jumps on the internet to whip out a quick report on Japanese Mythology. It's too bad he can't write it about Japanese Toilets since that article is almost twice as long!

How many people have to starve in the gutter so that we can learn as much about Transformers: Universe as the actual universe?

How many children must we deprive of health care so that our knowledge of astronomy pales in comparison to our knowledge of things that George Lucas changed in the Star Wars re-releases?

You run a website. Nothing more. If you need more money to run it sell advertising like everyone else but DO NOT take money from people with real need.

Kisses,

Barstool Pundit




Want to donate to Hey! Asshats! Email Barstool Pundit.

2 comments:

tv that shoe was thrown at said...

oops! i just donated 6 million dollars to "asshats for more rock star parking."

Anonymous said...

Good to see you made it home ok.