To Whom It May Concern :
Jane Doe has been employed at our company for eight years. I suspect the length of her stay is not due to a commitment to her job, but rather her understanding that other businesses would be unwilling to hire her. During her time with us, Jane has been the catalyst for many dramatic situations. She can be relied upon to stress the difficulty in any circumstance. Her unbridled pessimism is a thing to behold, bested only by her self-absorption.
Jane considers the workplace her home and acts accordingly. She is an intelligent woman who would be capable of behaving in a professional manner if someone were able to impress upon her the meaning of the phrase. Jane has used the knowledge she gained from her M.S.W. studies to act out a variety of mental illnesses. I have no reservations in my qualification of this recommendation. Her unique gifts would be an asset in any dysfunctional workplace.
Sincerely,
Management
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